Pounce

2:16 PM Sunday, April 18, 2010

Pounce

I crawled on hands and knees
Down the hall and through the doorway.

I was stealth child
Sneaking into the bedroom.

I knew he was lying there,
I could hear him snore.

My approach was slow but swift.
Dust bunnies swirling about as I moved.

I peer above the bed
Viewing my prey

He sleeps still, soundly,
Not moving.

BOO!

I leap high and fast,
A panther pouncing.

Screaming, my father
Jerks awake!

I spend the day
In the solitude of my room...

4 comments:

  1. I love this poem... Especially the "stealth child" line...I also like how you build the suspense... I can picture this little kid crawling along, s-l-o-w-l-y...In all reality, didn't you actually punch him in the nose...??Shaunna : )

    Shaunna Gage

  2. Oh, and one other comment... You changed the tense mid-way through...At the beginning you "crawled"... "I was"... "I knew"... You "moved"...The the tense changes to present... "I peer"... "Viewing my prey"... "I leap"... Your father "Jerks awake"...Just a small note in an otherwise wonderful poem...Shaunna : )

    Shaunna Gage

  3. Thank you for pointing this out. I really have a problem with this don't I! Seems to creep up more and more. Definitely something I need to be aware of.

    Julie

  4. You do seem to like to switch mid-stream... I do too... That is why I notice it when you do it!! LOLSCG

    Shaunna Gage

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